Sunnah of Marriage

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

SUNNAH OF MARRIAGE

O Allah (The Exalted) bless our master Muhammad (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) and the family of our master Muhammad (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) in all that Your knowledge encompasses, in everything that Your pen writes, in all that Your Will preordains, and as often as Your angels have blessed him, with eternal blessings, lasting as long as You last, remaining, by Your Grace and Your Generosity, until the end of eternity, never-ending, with no beginning to them, and no disappearing of them, for ever and ever.

Marriage is a Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace). It is a means of extending the family linage and bringing up children. Marriage in Islam offers tranquillity to the soul and peace to the mind, so that man and woman may live together in an atmosphere of love, mercy, harmony, co-operation, mutual advice and tolerance, and lay the foundation for raising a Muslim family in a nurturing, sound environment.

Marriage is a union of souls, in the deepest sense. Allah (The Exalted) joins these two souls together so that they may enjoy tranquility and stability in a marital home filled with sincere love and compassionate mercy. In Islam, the righteous woman is viewed as one of the joys of this life, and a great blessings to a man, for he comes home to her and relaxes after facing the struggles of life, and finds with her incomparable peace, comfort and pleasure. Let us learn about marriage and what it entails.

Half of Faith

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported from the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) that, “When a man marries, he gets his religion half perfected. Then he should keep fearing for the other half.” i

One half of his religion means that he is saved from adultery and with the other half by fearing Allah (The Exalted).

One hundred lashes or death

When an unmarried male commits fornication with an unmarried female, they should receive one hundred lashes and exile for one year. In the case of a married male committing adultery with a married female, they shall receive one hundred lashes and be stoned to death. ii

The reason for one hundred lashed and stone to death is because they had a lawful partner to fulfil their desires but went to the unlawful.

Marry or fast

Ibn Ma’sud (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and protects you from immorality. However, those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.” iii

Lustful desires get stronger when one eats more. In order to rid these desires the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said to fast as hunger suppresses the desires. Subhanallah!

When a person can support a wife in terms of providing a home, food and clothing, one should marry as soon as possible to save one’s self from sin. By a home it means somewhere to stay and not necessary your own home, it could be living with parents or living on your own.

Adultery

The Zina (fornication) of the eye is to look, the Zina of the tongue is the word, and the Zina of the foot is walking towards the desires. iv

Islam cuts evil at it’s root. If one looks at a woman/man with desires it could lead to fornication/adultery. Islam does not even want its followers to even go down that path. This is the reason if you look at a wo/man you have committed fornication/adultery. When talking to a non-Mehram be it face to face, on a phone or via e-mail etc. this is also Zina.

Keep your gaze lowered

Umme Salma (may Allah be pleased with her) has related that, ‘I was with the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) along with Maymuna (may Allah be pleased with her) when Ibn 2 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

Makhtum (may Allah be pleased with him) approached and came in to visit him, so he told us to veil ourselves.” I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) is he not blind and unable to see us?’ He replied, “Are you blind and unable to see him?”’ v

Respected brother/sister, we find from this that it is not permissible for a female to look at a male and vice versa. The gaze should be controlled.

It is forbidden for any husband to allow strangers (Ghair Mehram) to visit, view or converse with his wife. In the same way, it is forbidden for a father to permit strangers to see, contact or speak to his daughter. Unfortunately this has become very common in today’s society and is not seen as a sin. Therefore save yourselves from the fire of Hell.

To save yourself from ‘Fitna’

When you see a ‘ghair mehram’ who is not in close relation1 with you say:

1 i.e. Your Mother, Grandmother (both sides), Sister, Wife, Daughter, Dad’s Sister, Mum’s Sister.

Allahumma Inni A‘oodhu Bika Min Fitnatin Nisaa

‘O Allah (The Exalted)! I Seek refuge in You from the seduction (Fitna) of women!

This supplication will save you from the tribulation of the female.

Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) has reported the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) as saying that, “A woman should be concealed, for when she goes out the devil looks at her.” vi Allahu Akbar!

Sisters should dress the way Khadija, ‘Aisha or Fatima (may Allah be pleased with them) would dress, as this is most appropriate. These women have a very high status in Islam and are leaders in Paradise.

Choosing a wife

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) has reported that, “Do not marry women on the consideration of the beauty of their face and figure. It may be that their beauty may lead them to prediction. Nor marry them for the sake of riches and wealth, as their property may make them headstrong and disobedient. But marry them on the consideration of their piety. A jet black woman possessing good manners is better than a beautiful woman belonging to a good family who is ill mannered.” vii Subhanallah!

If you look at the obvious wisdom behind this saying we find that if one went for beauty then that could be lost in many different ways, i.e. she could loose it in an accident or by getting burnt etc. Also not to marry for wealth as one day people have wealth and the next day they have lost it all, anything could happen. But marry on the basis piety as every step she will take she will fear Allah (The Exalted). You will have no fear that she will run away with your money, or with someone else for a matter of fact. There are many wisdoms behind this hadith and when we look around our society we will find that a pious woman changes the family and the children get an Islamic upbringing and stay on the straight path, may Allah (The Exalted) guide us all in the straight path, Ameen.

Mughirah Ibn Sha’bah (may Allah be pleased with him) said that, “I got engaged to a woman at the time of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace). He asked me, ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ he said, ‘Go and have a look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.” viii

It is important that one should look at the partner whom one may marry as it helps to make the decision. If the parents say that you are going to marry someone from our family because I promised them so many years ago, and all the different reasons for this marriage to go ahead. One should talk to the parents and ask them why s/he is good for you. If it is because s/he offers five times Salaah and has good character and your families get on well with them then there should be no problem and one should marry such a person. However, if it is because of the benefit of your parents then this should be explained as it is the man and women who have to live together and spend the rest of their lives together. If they don’t like each other then this is force marriage and is not valid according to the Islamic law. 3 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

The ideal Muslim’s wife

On the basis of this view of marriage and of women, the Muslim is not attracted by the empty-headed attitude displayed by some girls nowadays. Rather, he is attracted by a sound Muslim personality, and he takes his time in choosing a partner for life, looking for a partner who has the right Islamic characteristics which make for a stable and happy married life. Therefore he is not interested in the superficial beauty, grace and elegance that are the sole concern of empty-headed youngsters.

Forced Marriages

Khansa bint Khydam Ansariya (may Allah be pleased with her) related that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron, and she disliked that marriage. She went to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) and complained, and the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) declared the marriage invalid. ix

If the man and woman are not happy with the marriage going ahead then when the Nikah is being carried out both parties are asked if they are willing to accept, they have a right to say no at this time.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) has narrated that, “When one with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption.” x

Persons to whom Marriage is forbidden

Marriage is forbidden for males to the following persons:

1. Mother

2. Daughters

3. Sisters

4. Father’s sisters (paternal aunt)

5. Mother’s sisters (maternal aunt)

6. Brother’s daughter (niece)

7. Sister’s daughter (niece)

8. Wife’s mother (mother in law)

9. wives of your sons

10. Grandmother (both sides)

11. Granddaughters

12. Wife’s daughter from a previous marriage

13. The wife’s sister (as long as the wife is in his marriage)

Females cannot marry the following:

1. Father

2. Son

3. Brother

4. Father’s brother (paternal)

5. Mother’s brother (maternal)

6. Brother’s son (nephew)

7. Sister’s son (nephew)

8. Husband’s father

9. Grandfather

10. Grandson

11. Husband’s son (from previous marriage)

Once the marriage has been agreed from both sides, there should be no contact between both man and woman that are going to get wedded. They are still not permissible for each other until the Nikah has been performed. It has unfortunately become wide spread and accepted in the community to go out together, to talk to each other on the phone, to go around each others homes etc. Allah (The Exalted) forbid, this is a major sin and those who agree with it will be held responsible and liable for punishment until sincere repentance is not made. 4 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

Expenses on Nikah

The Mother of the believers, ‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) reports that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “No doubt the most blessed marriage is that which involves the least expenditure.” xi

Many weddings are seen today that go against this hadith. People spend so much on a wedding dress which is only worn once, on clothing, food that is wasted, hiring cars, stage decoration, jewellery etc. and when it comes to giving the Mehr (wedding gift) it is minimal. We spent so much on things that are contrary to the Sunnah and minimal on those things that are Fardh and Wajib! This is due to lack of knowledge and to please others and not to please Allah (The Exalted) and His beloved Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace).

Safiya bint Shayba related that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) gave a feast with two mudds (one mudd = ¾ kilo) of barley when marrying one of his wives. xii

This was the simplicity of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace). Remember by following the Sunnah there are many rewards and at the time of corruption the reward of following and bringing back to life one Sunnah is the reward one hundred martyrs. Subhanallah!

Music at weddings

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, “Music generates hypocrisy in the heart just as water causes the crops to grow.” The Qur’an has declared that a Munafiq (hypocrite) will be in the lowest ranks of Hellfire and will not find for himself any helper. His punishment will be the most severe.” Allahu Akbar!

A large amount is spent on music, singing and dancing by women entertainers. A marriage without music, gramophone playing, blowing of trumpets and hiring of cars is considered a dull and drab affair. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, “My Lord has commanded me to eliminate music and singing, idols and the cross (of the Christians) and other objects of ignorance.” xiii

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) has prohibited such singing which arouses passions, desire, and lust and in which there are words of Kufr. Many songs have words of Kufr in them, if you listen to Music and songs repent and recite the Shahadah (Kalima) again and if married you may need to perform Nikah too. This is very serious yet people and headless regarding it. If we die in this state without faith (Imaan) then the only destination is hell fire, Allah (The Exalted) forbid.

Respected brother/sister of Islam! There is yet time to repent and promise that as from today we shall safeguard ourselves and our children from the punishments by making certain that we are not assaulted by the evils of music. Nor are our womenfolk in contact with strangers whether at home or elsewhere especially at weddings! The time for action is now, before death overtakes us.

Giving Blessings

It is recommended that you congratulate the bride and bridegroom, by repeating what the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “May Allah (The Exalted) bless you and bless your spouse and may Allah (The Exalted) unite you with prosperity.” xiv

Pleasing the husband

Umme Salma (may Allah be pleased with her) related the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) has said that, “Whichever female dies while her husband was pleased with her, will enter paradise.” xv

In one narration it has been said, “The most perfect of the believers in faith is he who is the best of them in conduct, and they are those who are the best to their wives.”

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) has related that when the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) was asked which woman was best he replied, “The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he asks her and does not go against his wishes regarding her person and property by doing anything of which he disapproves.” xvi Subhanallah! 5 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “When a woman observes the five prayers, fasts during the moth of Ramadan, gives charity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise that she so desires.” xvii

Meaning she observes her five pillars and obeys her husband. We find that obeying the husband has been mentioned with the five pillars showing the importance of obeying the husband.

Women who are ungrateful to their husbands

Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates from the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) that, “Pay Sadaqah (charity) and offer repentance abundantly, for I have seen more women in the hell fire.” One of the persons asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) What is our fault that most of us would go to hell?’ The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied, ‘You are more ungrateful to your husbands.” xviii

Whatever you have, you should be grateful for. Let us not look at those who are better of but those who are worse of.

Mu’adh (may Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) advised that when a woman causes trouble to her Muslim husband in the world, his wife among the maidens (Hoors) says, “(O worldly wife!) Do not cause him trouble. May Allah (The Exalted) wrong you. His stay with you is very short; soon he will part with you and come to us.” xix Subhanallah!

Nicknames

To call your husband by his name is disliked (Makrooh).xx Call by another name i.e. Hajji, or the father of your son/daughter etc. If your son is called ‘Abdullah then you can call your husband Abu ‘Abdullah (father of ‘Abdullah). Some call there husbands by nicknames, this should be avoided if you are shorting his first name i.e. to call Farouq as ‘Faz’ or Muhammad as ‘Mo’ etc. more details on this is covered in the chapter of names.

The Rights

‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) asked the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), “Who has the supreme right over the woman?” The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, “The husband.” She asked, “Who has the supreme right over the man?” The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied, “His mother.” xxi

Basically the wife should be obedient to the husband and the husband to his mother. However, this does not mean the mother takes advantage over the daughter in-law. We should all fear Allah (The Exalted) and be considerate and understanding at all times.

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Fear Allah (The Exalted) regarding you have married them with the trust of Allah (The Exalted) they have rights over you in respect of their food, clothing and lodging.” xxii

The wife should be provided with the necessities such as a place to live, food and clothing. This by no mean means, the wife demands a separate house or the best clothing. She should consider and be satisfied with what the husband can afford.

Treat women kindly

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) states that, “Treat women kindly, for women were created from a rib. The part of it that is most bent is the top. If you try to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain bent. So treat women kindly.” xxiii

If she is mischievous or you don’t agree with something then try and bring her round. There may be things that are not unlawful in Islam but you do not agree with then explain to her and leave her to it and at times is best to over look it.

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, “A Muslim wife should not be hated by a Muslim husband. If he dislikes some habits of his wife, he may like some others.” xxiv 6 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

The Best of men

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) states that, “The believer who has the most perfect faith is the one whose behaviour is good, and the best of you are the ones who are best to their women.” xxv

Men should learn about good character, what is acceptable and what is not in Islam.

Inviting others without permission

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) states that, “The woman is not permitted to fast (Superergratory) when her husband is present without his permission,xxvi nor is she allowed to invite anyone into his house without his permission.”

When a husband’s friend comes to visit and he is not in, the wife invites him in, one should strictly avoid this and only let him in when the husband is in.

Most disliked by Allah

Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, “The lawful thing which Allah (The Exalted) dislikes most is divorce.” xxvii

Although divorce is permissible it is not to be taken lightly and we should try and resolve the problems through family or friends. People take this as a plaything. Due to lack of knowledge some do not know how to handle a situation and it ends up in divorce for minor things. May Allah (The Exalted) save us all from such things.

Not bothering about the wife

Once the Prophet of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) remarked, “A Dayyuth2 will never enter Jannah.” The companions enquired, “Who is a Dayyuth?” The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied, “A man who is not bothered about who visits his wife.” Allahu Akbar! Free mixing is not permitted in Islam and when a husband is not bothered and not stop people talking and mixing freely with his wife Shaytan takes advantage and will be regrettable.

2 Cuckold: someone whose wife who flirts or engages in sex with another man.

Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) saying, “Allah (The Exalted) has prohibited three types of people from entering the garden: The one who is addicted to wine, the one who is undutiful to his parents, and the cuckold (dayyuth) who knows about his wife’s adultery and says nothing.” xxviii Allahu Akbar!

Supplication for bringing the bride home

When the bride and groom meet in their privacy then the husband can hold his wife’s hair near the forehead and recite the following supplication:

‘Allahumma Inni As-aluka Khay-raha Wa-Khay-rama Ja-bal-taha ‘Alaihi Wa A‘oodhu Bika Min-sharriha Wa-sharrima Ja-baltaha ‘Alaihi.’

‘O Allah (The Exalted) I seek the good in her from You and the goodness in the habit and character in her and seek refuge in You from her evil habits and character.’

Recite the above supplication whilst holding the forehead of the bride for blessing. xxix

After the wedding night, one should hold a feast to feed his relations, friends, and the poor people. xxx

Wife’s martial obligations in the Hanafi School

The wife’s serving her husband at home-by cooking, cleaning, and baking bread-is religiously obligatory for her, and if she does not, she is committing a sin, though it is not something that she may be forced to do by the court. xxxi

The best husband and the best wife

1. The best husband is he who shows good character and good manners towards his wife.

2. The best wife is she who acts upon the husband’s sayings as necessary.

7 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

3. The best husband is he who does not show laziness to the rights of his wife.

4. The best wife is she who always considers her husband’s well being.

5. The best husband is he who looks after the wife’s needs such as food and clothing.

6. The best wife is she who does not give the husband problems but gives him peace of mind.

7. The best husband is he who does not look at other women beside his wife.

8. The best wife is she who does not exceed the husband’s capacity in terms of income.

9. The best husband is he who teaches the wife Islamic knowledge.

10. The best wife is she who helps the husband at the time of problems.

11. The best husband is he who is there for the wife when she is in distress.

12. The best wife is she who stays indoors and protects the dignity of her husband.

13. The best husband is he who keeps patience when the wife has no control over her tongue.

14. The best wife is she who has patience when the husband does not treat her justly.

15. The best husband is he who keeps an eye on the wife’s good points and forgives small mistakes.

Rights of the wife

Islam is the religion that emancipated women from the shackles of cruelty and oppressive cults and practices as foreseen in pre-Islamic Arabia. Islam announced a new status for women and gave her the following rights:

Livelihood: A wife has the right to be provided for and should not be forced to work to earn money. She also has the right of Mahr (wedding gift) and inheritance.

Kindness: She has the right to be treated kindly by her husband.

Marriage: She has the final say in the marriage. If she does not like her husband due to valid reasons then she may get a divorce and re-marry someone else. Similarly, a divorced woman or widow may re-marry someone else as well.

The Qur’an and Hadith vividly highlight the type of attitude the husband should have towards his wife, denouncing all kinds of verbal and physical aggression.

Rights of the Husband

To maintain equilibrium between the status of the husband and wife, Islam gives rights to the husband as well, which the wife must adhere to.

Obedience: The wife should obey her husband and honour his decisions in all matters except in matters where the husband is deviant from the right path. The wife should also remain aloof from company of those the husband disapproves of.

Guarding: In the absence of the husband, it is her duty to protect his honour, his house and children.

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said that, “The woman is the guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it.” xxxii

In order to indicate the most reverend, esteemed, honourable and glorious position a husband has in the life of a wife, the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) has said that, “It is forbidden for a human being to lay in prostration before another human. Had it been permissible, every wife would have been ordained by Allah (The Exalted) to prostrate before her husband. The husband enjoys such a supreme status that if his whole body is covered with wounds and the wife licks them all with her tongue, the right of her husband is even then not fulfilled in full measure.” xxxiii

A husband and wife are like two wheels of a bicycle. Both need to be in good working condition for the cycle to be functional. Otherwise the cycle will not function as intended. Similarly, if the husband and the wife are not at peace with each other the family will not be able to function properly. Conclusively it is necessary for 8 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

a husband to show affection and kindness to the wife whilst it is necessary for a wife to show obedience to the husband.

Ten Tips on how to be a successful Husband

Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt her feelings.

Recognise all the good that she does and focus on that.

If you see anything wrong that your wife does, as long as it doesn’t contradict the Shariah, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives. It’s a technique that Muslim men need to master.

Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah (charity) and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling.

Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognise what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her, and work on repeating those things in your life.

Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) set the example for us; when on numerous occasions he comforted his wives.

Be humorous and play games or sport with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) would race with his wife ‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). When was the last time we did something like that?

Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!

Shaykh Ahmad Raza Khan in ‘Ehkam-e-Shariat’ writes; the wife has a right to be provided with a house to live in, to be offered Mehr3 on time, to be looked after and to be saved from anything against the Islamic Law. The right over the husband holds the status after Allah (The Exalted) and his Messenger (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) even to the extent more than the parents, she is not allowed to go anywhere without a permissible male and even to her parents house every eighth day and only from morning till evening.

3 Gift at the time of marriage from the husband.

Manners of Marriage

1. To marry is a Sunnah for a man of means.

2. To send a proposal before Nikah is a Sunnah.

3. To look for a pious and good person is a Sunnah. xxxiv

4. To marry a widow is a Sunnah.

5. To hold the Nikah in the mosque on a Friday. xxxv

9 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

i Baihaqi

ii Muslim

iii Bukhari & Muslim

iv Abu Dawood

v Ahmed & Tirmidhi

vi Tirmidhi

vii Ibn Majah

viii Nisai

ix Bukhari, Abu Dawud, & Ibn Majah

x Tirmidhi

xi Mishkat

xii Bukhari

xiii Mishkat

xiv Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah & Tirmidhi in their Sunnan in the chapter of Nikah and authenticated by Ibn Majah and Hakim.

xv Ibn Majah & Tirmidhi

xvi Nisai & Baihaqi

xvii Abu Nu’aim

xviii Bukhari & Muslim

xix Mishkat

xx Alamgiri

xxi Targheeb

xxii Bukhari

xxiii Bukhari & Muslim

xxiv Abu Dawud

xxv Tirmidhi

xxvi Abu Dawud

xxvii Tirmidhi

xxviii Nisai & Hakim

xxix Mishkat, Abu Dawood in Nikah & ibn Majah

6. To hold the Nikah ceremony with simplicity and without any pomp and show. xxxvi

7. The present day customs regarding engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

8. To unnecessarily delay Nikah after having reached the age of Nikah is incorrect.

9. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

10. There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of Nikah.

11. If the father is an Alim (scholar of religion) he should himself solemnise the Nikah.

12. It is Sunnah to fix the amount of Mahr (dowry) according to one’s means. xxxvii

13. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes on occasions of marriage is an act of sin and is totally forbidden.

14. Many today do not read Salaah during weddings. Everyone, even the bride’s groom must pray.

15. One cycle Salaah of a married man is seventy times better than the Salaah of an unmarried man. xxxviii

16. It is Sunnah for the bridegroom to make Walimah. NOTE: In the Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagant show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

17. Muslims have unfortunately adopted unIslamic traditions. Displaying the bride on stage, wedding dresses, music and photography, etc. All this displeases Allah (The Exalted) and the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace).

May Allah (The Exalted) give us the ability to perform marriage in accordance to the Sunnah, Ameen. 10 www.GardensOfSunnah.co.uk

xxx Tirmidhi

xxxi Reliance of the traveller

xxxii Bukhari

xxxiii Musnad Ahmad

xxxiv Mishkat

xxxv ibid

xxxvi ibid

xxxvii ibid

xxxviii Ihya ulum