Sayyida Umm Salma
Mother of the believers Umm Salmah
(may Allah be pleased with her)
Umm Salmah’s (may Allah be pleased with her) Family
Father: Suhail or Hudhayfa.[1]
Mother: Aatika bint Amir ibn Rabia of Kinana
Tribe: Banu Makhzum / Banu Mugheera
Umm Salmah (may Allah be pleased with her) was born in 600 approximately 22 years before the migration.[i]
Her real name was Hind and she was also known as Umm Salamah. Umm Salmah (may Allah be pleased with her) was the wife of ‘Abd-Allah bin Asad (Abu Salmah) (may Allah be pleased with him), who had two sons with her, Salmah and ‘Umar and a daughter called Zaynab. Abu Salmah (may Allah be pleased with him) died in the 4th Hijrah. Four months after his death, the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) proposed to Umm Salmah (may Allah be pleased with her) herself, but she made excuses that she had a big family and that she had passed her youth. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), however, persisted until he married her with the sole purpose of looking after her and the children she had. So it is clear that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) married those two wives Zaynab bint Khuzayma and Umm Salmah (may Allah be pleased with them) to care for the family of two of his companions after their death.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) was 56 and Umme Salmah (may Allah be pleased with her) was 26 years old.[ii]
Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) proposed marriage to Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) aware of her needs and suffering as a widow with children to support and no means of doing so. She refused because, according to her judgement, no-one could be better than her late husband.
Some time after that, the Prophet himself offered to marry her. This was quite right and natural. For this great woman who had never shied from sacrifice and suffering for her faith in Islam was now alone after having lived many years in the noblest clan of Arabia. She could not be neglected and left to beg her way in life. Considering her piety, sincerity and all that she had suffered, she certainly deserved to be helped. By taking her into his household, the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) was doing what he had been doing since his youth, namely befriending those who were lacking in friends, supporting those who were unsupported, protecting those who were unprotected. In the circumstances in which Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) found herself, there was no kinder or more gracious way to give her what she lacked.
Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) was intelligent and quick in comprehension just as ‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was. She had all the capacities and gifts to become a spiritual guide and teacher. When the gracious and compassionate Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) took her under his protection, a new student to whom all the female world would be grateful, was accepted into the school of knowledge and guidance. Let us recall that, at this time, the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) was approaching the age of sixty. For him to have married a widow with many children, to have accepted the expenses and responsibilities that entailed, cannot be understood otherwise than in humble admiration for the infinite reserves of his humanity and compassion.
Had he not married Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) a widow with many children, he would not have demonstrated his virtuous teachings on the care of the orphans. He showed kindness to them, treated them just like his real children.
She has narrated 378 traditions from the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace). Many of the Messenger of Allah’s (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) companions where her students including the great companion like ‘Abd-Allah bin Abbas and ‘A’isha (may Allah be pleased with her).
She passed away in 53 AH at the age of 84 and is buried in Jannatul-Baqi in Madinah. Her funeral prayer was performed by Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him). some historians are of the opinion that she passed away in 59 AH whilst others say 63 AH: Ibrahim Halbi records her death to have taken place in 62 AH.[iii]
Lessons learnt
Besides many lessons from her life we know that she was very learnt and that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) took personal responsibility over looking after her children.
‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) the son of Umm Salmah (may Allah be pleased with her) reports: “When I was a child I ued to sit in the lap of the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) and I used to eat along with him. once, I was eating with him but I started to spoil the meal with my hand. The Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Start with the name of Allah and eat with your right hand.”[iv]
If someone marries a partner who has children from another marriage, you can take this marriage as an example.
[1] Difference of opinion amongst the Scholars.
[i] Azwaj-e-Mutaharat. p. 70
[ii] Sirat-e-Mustafa; Page: 497.
[iii] Zarqani, Vol. 3, Pg. 238-42 & Ikmaal, Pg. 599
[iv] Bukhari.